An American coach doesn't just recruit performances: they recruit a person who will spend four years with their team. Your attitude, on the field and online, weighs in their decision.
Personality is part of the sport
No coach wants to work with a sore loser or a self-centered athlete. American coaches look for athletes who have character, not characters. One phrase sums it up well:
"We want character, not characters."
The wordplay is easy, but it says it all: mental strength, yes; behavior that disrupts a group, no.
What a coach watches
When a coach is interested in you, they don't just look at your numbers. They watch:
- how you react in defeat: do you stay focused or fall apart?
- your attitude toward teammates: do you encourage or criticize?
- how you treat referees and opponents: respect, or constant arguing?
- your commitment in training: punctuality, effort, desire to improve;
- your ability to get organized: in college, you will juggle classes, practice and travel.
On game footage, a bad reaction is as visible as a great play. And when a coach calls your current coach to ask about you, that is also what they talk about.
Social media is your first shop window
Today, a coach can type your name into Google or look up your profile on Instagram, TikTok, X (formerly Twitter) or Facebook before even contacting you. Coaches and their assistants pay attention: don't ruin your reputation before your athletic or professional career has even started.
Used well, these networks can instead help you build a positive image.
Avoid:
- insults, mockery and online fights, even in comments;
- public criticism of your coach, your club or a referee;
- party photos and anything involving alcohol or drugs;
- discriminatory remarks, even "as a joke".
Show:
- your training, your competitions, your progress;
- your commitment at school or in your community;
- your respect for opponents and your team spirit.
Try this: type your name into a search engine and see what comes up. Set your personal accounts to private if you have any doubt, and clean up your old posts.
Your exchanges with a coach count too
Your character shows from the very first message. When a coach writes to you or calls you:
- answer yourself, quickly and politely: they are recruiting you, not your parents;
- use a serious email address, with your first and last name;
- be honest about your level, your grades and your timeline;
- ask questions about the team, academics and campus life: it shows your interest and maturity;
- keep your commitments: if you promise a video by Friday, send it on Friday.
An athlete who is reliable and pleasant to follow makes the coach want to stand up for them within their college.
The role of parents
Parents have their place in this work. They should make sure their children know how to make good decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Their own attitude counts too: a parent who argues with the referee from the stands or criticizes the coach online can put off a recruiter.
The best advice: talk together, early, about what you post and the image you want to give.
Key takeaways
- A coach recruits character as much as level.
- Your reaction in defeat and your attitude on the team are watched.
- Your social media is checked: clean it up, and show what puts you in a good light.
- Parents set the example, in the stands and online.
To learn how to present yourself to coaches, read our guide to getting an athletic scholarship. And to take stock of your profile, start with the free evaluation.
